||[Dec. 24th, 2007|02:47 am]
Sean you would be proud of me.|
I had the chance to hook up with this guy tonight. Over the past week I have felt the need to relieve some sexual energy and the oppurtunity presented itself through a twenty-four year old with an email address named snomonkie. Well, this crack monkey did some thinking and a little growing up.
I did not go to this said monkey's household. I stayed home, fixed a turkey sandwich, and watched Veronica Mars.
I've come to realize that I want more than just sex with some random guy. I want to know the guy before certain parts are shoved in certain places. Sex is only better when there is a true connection and I need more connection than the fact of both beings having the same genitalia.
This ties back into my past. I won't bring up all details, but my past has been more of suck this when I need you and bend over when I call you. A sex puppet with no true purpose.
That's why I'm iffy on relationships.
That's why I'm not all together with trust.
I guess I have to start from the beginning. I should give this "relationship" thing a go but there is a problem with this idea.
What is the point of getting into a relationship that I know is useless? Yes, he may have a pretty face, but I need something deeper. I would love something that lasts.
Continuing from this post I have finally connected back to the internet. The process of fixing my connection randomly hit me in the head this early morning. Lucky me I suppose.
It has been a very occupied weekend with the work schedule. I worked the weekend and I dealt with most of the rushes that we recieved. It has been a long weekend and I love the fact I have the next two days off.
Well, after I got off work from I went over to Ronnie's. I wanted to relax and asked Joel to hook me up, but Ronnie freaked out on me. It is one thing to just be honest with me and the complete opposite of raging like a five-year old and throw stuff. I can see what Jeremy was getting at. He is completely immature. He is cool and all, but seriously a little farfetched. I think I'm just going to stay away from there awhile. I really don't need the over-dramatization of things.
(My water bottle is empty and I am feeling a little bit tired)
I am loving this hawk. I am going to rock this shit for a hot second. It fits me perfectly. I'm just going to have Courtney trim up the sides every now and then when they need touching up.
I'm washing clothes at the moment and I am going to watch a couple of episodes of The L Word:Season 4 until I drift off into the lands that resemble reality, but only a reality that I approve of. Whatever.